i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize