she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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