Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
