worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
