I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
