Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize