thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
