I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
