wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
