Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
