This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
