Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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