My liver just broke up with me...
farters have to be the big spoon...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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