She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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