you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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