He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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