so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
