I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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