i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
