I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
