i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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