Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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