WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
