Dual....:-)
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
