All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
