Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
