please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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