butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Pappa wants mamma naked
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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