are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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