What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize