I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
