She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
