i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize