Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
