I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
