is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
