Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
