I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
