That's intense
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
