So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
