WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
