yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
