I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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