it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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