who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
