Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
