Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We got so high we made milksteak
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
