I just cut my nipple shaving
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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