I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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