I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
