I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
