we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
