we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
