I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
