So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
