my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
