wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
