I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
