So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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