Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was born a porn star she said
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
